Light at the End of the Tunnel

Once your babies learn that "Once upon a time you were a Kid" life will be a breeze; naturally, they don't figure this out until their mid forties.  Until then. you have to pretend to be'stupid'/ Yes. its harsh and sometimes very unpleasant for you but it makes their day.

Every new candy or practical joke that comes out on the commercial market will be a target torture device aimed against Mom.  Sometimes you think.  Don't they know I'm able to read?" but, because you are great you take the candy clearly labeled "War Heads hot enough to Blow your head off" and place it on your tongue and pretend its even hotter than the item really is... though it has already killed 99.9% of your taste buds.  Why do this to yourself?  Because you are great!  Allow them to jeer, clap and die laughing but always remember this so you can pay them back!!

Yes!  There is a light at the end of the long Motherhood Tunnel!  Be an elephant-- never forget anything.

There are several ways to get even without them ever guessing you are keeping track of their pranks, tantrums, jokes and embarrassing gestures.  Hidden in the deepest darkest cabinet in your kitchen-- the one with health food in it just to make sure they never find it is your GRANDMOTHERS WISH BOOK!!  The book of tallies, points, ideas and salvation!  Every time the monsters from the dark side do something that claws its way under your skin, you pull the book out and decide how to get even and input in the book.

Example:

8/1983  Problem:  Today Shawn painted himself the dog and his little tykes coup sky blue.

Payback:  purchase my grandchildren florescent finger paints in gallon size containers.

Mean while, you ave taken his picture with the blue dog and matching coup and cleaned them up laughing all the way, (if you think about it, it was really funny) get the idea?  No?  lets try another example.

11/ 1985  Problem:  Jason throws a tantrum in my mothers house and tells grandma that mommy is mean to him so when i put him down for the much needed nap, Grandma sneaks up some french fries and agrees with him that you are being mean.  ( you will notice she is giggling all the way up and down the stairs as this was one of her pay backs from her Grandmother book)

Payback:  Pay my grandchildren 20 dollars to scream and cry for 30 minutes while their parents are having company

So have you gotten it finally? if you sit around and watch any ones grandparent you will see that they find joy and delight in the nasty things their grandchildren do that you were never permitted to do , unless under penalty of never seeing the light of day again.