Neal asked Nana what is an Elf? Nana's eyes got Hugh and twinkle began forming in her green eyes whenever an Adventure is about to begin.
Nana said what a magical time of year to be asking about Elves. Christmas is just around the corner and at this time of year is when Candy starts packing up all the gifts for delivery. Candy? said Neal. Yes Candy is the smallest of elves so small he fits into Mrs. Mouses House on the edge of Cranberry Hollow, and in Squire Squirrels nest north of Edinburgh. Santa can't fit into those small places and relies on Candy to manage those tiniest places.
That afternoon in Nana's door was a note... not just any note. The return address was
Santa Claus
1 Tinsil Court
Ice City, North Pole 00000
Yes a note from Santa himself! It sparkled like morning sunshine on fresh fallen snow or dew drops on a spider web. It smelled of Hot chocolate and and the ink looked like Candy Canes..... you know red and white swirls, what pen writes with two coloured ink?
Open it open it Neal said as he bounced around the room so excited. NANA ITS A LETTER FROM SANTA HIMSELF!! COME ON OPEN IT ..
Nana took the letter smelled the warmth of the hot chocolate coming from it sat down at the kitchen table and Said Neal sit here at the table. She layed it flat on the table and said do you smell the ginger bread cookies? Neal nodded and thought how odd a letter that smelled of Hot Coco and ginger bread and he could swear he smelled plum pudding! But its just a letter. Not any letter but one from Santa!
Nana broke the gold seal on the letter and it utterly exploded! after the sparkles;stting on the table was a beautiful Ginger bread house a glowing plum pudding all surrounded by cookies and two mugs of steaming double chocolate hot coco with marshmallows! And a small scroll .
Nana opened the scroll and the same red and white ink was all over the letter, it said:
Dearest Magical Nana-
I'm in a world of trouble.... Candy is missing! I need your help to locate him before Christmas Eve or all the tiny forest creatures will not get their Christmas gifts. Please Magical Nana help me save Christmas for the Forest Creatures.
Fondly
Santa
Nana took a long sip of her hot coco Santa sent in the magical letter and let out a sigh... slapped both hands on the table and said Well Neal we are off on an adventure to find Candy the Elf. So drink up your coco and get your hat and coat we are off to find an ELF!!
too be continued............
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Light at the End of the Tunnel
Once your babies learn that "Once upon a time you were a Kid" life will be a breeze; naturally, they don't figure this out until their mid forties. Until then. you have to pretend to be'stupid'/ Yes. its harsh and sometimes very unpleasant for you but it makes their day.
Every new candy or practical joke that comes out on the commercial market will be a target torture device aimed against Mom. Sometimes you think. Don't they know I'm able to read?" but, because you are great you take the candy clearly labeled "War Heads hot enough to Blow your head off" and place it on your tongue and pretend its even hotter than the item really is... though it has already killed 99.9% of your taste buds. Why do this to yourself? Because you are great! Allow them to jeer, clap and die laughing but always remember this so you can pay them back!!
Yes! There is a light at the end of the long Motherhood Tunnel! Be an elephant-- never forget anything.
There are several ways to get even without them ever guessing you are keeping track of their pranks, tantrums, jokes and embarrassing gestures. Hidden in the deepest darkest cabinet in your kitchen-- the one with health food in it just to make sure they never find it is your GRANDMOTHERS WISH BOOK!! The book of tallies, points, ideas and salvation! Every time the monsters from the dark side do something that claws its way under your skin, you pull the book out and decide how to get even and input in the book.
Example:
8/1983 Problem: Today Shawn painted himself the dog and his little tykes coup sky blue.
Payback: purchase my grandchildren florescent finger paints in gallon size containers.
Mean while, you ave taken his picture with the blue dog and matching coup and cleaned them up laughing all the way, (if you think about it, it was really funny) get the idea? No? lets try another example.
11/ 1985 Problem: Jason throws a tantrum in my mothers house and tells grandma that mommy is mean to him so when i put him down for the much needed nap, Grandma sneaks up some french fries and agrees with him that you are being mean. ( you will notice she is giggling all the way up and down the stairs as this was one of her pay backs from her Grandmother book)
Payback: Pay my grandchildren 20 dollars to scream and cry for 30 minutes while their parents are having company
So have you gotten it finally? if you sit around and watch any ones grandparent you will see that they find joy and delight in the nasty things their grandchildren do that you were never permitted to do , unless under penalty of never seeing the light of day again.
Every new candy or practical joke that comes out on the commercial market will be a target torture device aimed against Mom. Sometimes you think. Don't they know I'm able to read?" but, because you are great you take the candy clearly labeled "War Heads hot enough to Blow your head off" and place it on your tongue and pretend its even hotter than the item really is... though it has already killed 99.9% of your taste buds. Why do this to yourself? Because you are great! Allow them to jeer, clap and die laughing but always remember this so you can pay them back!!
Yes! There is a light at the end of the long Motherhood Tunnel! Be an elephant-- never forget anything.
There are several ways to get even without them ever guessing you are keeping track of their pranks, tantrums, jokes and embarrassing gestures. Hidden in the deepest darkest cabinet in your kitchen-- the one with health food in it just to make sure they never find it is your GRANDMOTHERS WISH BOOK!! The book of tallies, points, ideas and salvation! Every time the monsters from the dark side do something that claws its way under your skin, you pull the book out and decide how to get even and input in the book.
Example:
8/1983 Problem: Today Shawn painted himself the dog and his little tykes coup sky blue.
Payback: purchase my grandchildren florescent finger paints in gallon size containers.
Mean while, you ave taken his picture with the blue dog and matching coup and cleaned them up laughing all the way, (if you think about it, it was really funny) get the idea? No? lets try another example.
11/ 1985 Problem: Jason throws a tantrum in my mothers house and tells grandma that mommy is mean to him so when i put him down for the much needed nap, Grandma sneaks up some french fries and agrees with him that you are being mean. ( you will notice she is giggling all the way up and down the stairs as this was one of her pay backs from her Grandmother book)
Payback: Pay my grandchildren 20 dollars to scream and cry for 30 minutes while their parents are having company
So have you gotten it finally? if you sit around and watch any ones grandparent you will see that they find joy and delight in the nasty things their grandchildren do that you were never permitted to do , unless under penalty of never seeing the light of day again.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Butter for the table
Sunday Dinner or Holiday Feast or is it just the Zoo? Seventten People, family and friends broken down into ten adults and seven children. You already know this means the 'little people" have the advantage.
First you must always remember the basics:
1. When children leave you to go to Grandmas or Aunt or Uncle So and so's etc.. they are Perfect well minded angels (this is to make you look like a fool when you are complaing about them)
2. Tehy are always good when te kid next door babysits (who wouldn't when the one in charge lets you do anything short of buring down the house)
3. The kids are pretty good when dad is a home but the minute he leaves, "life as we like it is over!"
4. When they have mom alone, their main objective is two things--- search and destryoy!
5. When you have company and they get together with other children, world war three is a possibility.
WWIII will happen unless you not anyone but YOU commander in chief Mom, have sneaky fun, yet timely memories up your sleeve! Timing and being prepared are the key factor here. Now, for a group of ideas you can use or change to make a holiday gathering a happy time.
you have known about the "feast" as that tatoo on your forhead sayig "sucker" was not covered by bangs so the general population is decending upon you. but not to fear Super MOm is here! you saved that plastic gallong milk jug with screw on top and picked up a container of Heavy Whipping cream. You are prepared.
A half hour before dinner, the troops arrived mothers fathers and kids... all in your kitchen... helping (?) You get their attention with "who wants to make butter for the dinner table?" All eyes are on you; the grown-ups are thinging you have lost it and the kids all want to do it!
Calmly you get the jug pour in the heavy cream add a pinch of salt screw on the top and esxplain how to do this butter making thing.
"When you have the jug, you shake it very hard five times and say 'yaba daba do willie wonka says give it to you' and throw it or roll it to the next person after turning around twice"
So if its nice, seven kids and milk jug go outside to make putter and ten sighs escape from ten parents. when the cream has formed a wad you cut intothe jug divide in half and its ready for the table fresh homemade butter. the kids feel like they have contributed to hte feast and you were able to rid them from your hair for a short duration. By the way if its miserable outsdie have them sit in a circle and roll it back and forth but still shake it perfeably doing this in the basement out of ear shot!
First you must always remember the basics:
1. When children leave you to go to Grandmas or Aunt or Uncle So and so's etc.. they are Perfect well minded angels (this is to make you look like a fool when you are complaing about them)
2. Tehy are always good when te kid next door babysits (who wouldn't when the one in charge lets you do anything short of buring down the house)
3. The kids are pretty good when dad is a home but the minute he leaves, "life as we like it is over!"
4. When they have mom alone, their main objective is two things--- search and destryoy!
5. When you have company and they get together with other children, world war three is a possibility.
WWIII will happen unless you not anyone but YOU commander in chief Mom, have sneaky fun, yet timely memories up your sleeve! Timing and being prepared are the key factor here. Now, for a group of ideas you can use or change to make a holiday gathering a happy time.
you have known about the "feast" as that tatoo on your forhead sayig "sucker" was not covered by bangs so the general population is decending upon you. but not to fear Super MOm is here! you saved that plastic gallong milk jug with screw on top and picked up a container of Heavy Whipping cream. You are prepared.
A half hour before dinner, the troops arrived mothers fathers and kids... all in your kitchen... helping (?) You get their attention with "who wants to make butter for the dinner table?" All eyes are on you; the grown-ups are thinging you have lost it and the kids all want to do it!
Calmly you get the jug pour in the heavy cream add a pinch of salt screw on the top and esxplain how to do this butter making thing.
"When you have the jug, you shake it very hard five times and say 'yaba daba do willie wonka says give it to you' and throw it or roll it to the next person after turning around twice"
So if its nice, seven kids and milk jug go outside to make putter and ten sighs escape from ten parents. when the cream has formed a wad you cut intothe jug divide in half and its ready for the table fresh homemade butter. the kids feel like they have contributed to hte feast and you were able to rid them from your hair for a short duration. By the way if its miserable outsdie have them sit in a circle and roll it back and forth but still shake it perfeably doing this in the basement out of ear shot!
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Quality Time (Q.T.)
All week you dream of Staurday! Its a natural that we've been programed to think of the weekends as days Off. well, wake up, its is time for a reality check. Waht our parents did not tell us is that weekends are for catching up on housework, yardwork and Quality Time--QUALITY TIME-- the modern day phrase for "pull your hair out!"
This "Quality time" should be translated to mean giving the kids a memory, something that withstands the test of time. That your children will tell their spouse "when i ws little, my mom did this or mom did that .." Yes, they'll think you are a Goddess and just imagine what that could get you for Mothers Day, perhaps breakfast in bed or to be able to sleep until 8:00 AM! Great Dream but dreams do happen.
So imagine it is one of those horrible rainy wet Saturdays (that is usally the only time children want Q.T; if its sunny they ignore you and go off with thrie friends). So, its rainy and that timeless phrase is ringing through your ears "mom i'm bored! I have nothing to do" Your have suggested that thy go play in their Million dollar bedrooms or with the air hockey game in the basement , but that is not fun there is still nothing to do; andno, they don't want to help fold the mountain of laundry that is on the sofa. you are trying to finish your multimillion dollar proposal for Monday mornings meeting, so you have but a couple of choices to save yourself
A) Run away to a remote iceberg and live by yourself in an igloo
or
B) FOOD!
Yes Food! Children , like animals respond to food. In the old movies mothers often told their daughters the way to a mans heart is through hs stomach. Well, its the same with kids and pets. so here are a couple of recieps easy for you and time consuming for children.
To make this extra easy and super fast for you mix it in the food processor or kitchen aide mixer:
RAINY DAY MOMMY SAVER ANIMAL PRETZELS
you need the basics:
1 package of dry yeast
1 1/2 cups water
1 tbl of sugar
1 tbl of salt
1 egg
4 cups of flour
1. mix yeast water sugar and salt
2. stir in flour
3 knead until smooth
4 have the CHILDREN SHAPE INTO ANIMALS SNAKES FISH BEARS RABBITS ETC-- just like they were playing with play dough/clay.
5. Brush with beaten egg and sprinkle with coarse salt
6. bake in oven at 425 degrees for 15 minutes or until brown eat and enjoy!
Wa La! "Mommy let us make pretzels" -- instant memory and rainy day life preserver.
This "Quality time" should be translated to mean giving the kids a memory, something that withstands the test of time. That your children will tell their spouse "when i ws little, my mom did this or mom did that .." Yes, they'll think you are a Goddess and just imagine what that could get you for Mothers Day, perhaps breakfast in bed or to be able to sleep until 8:00 AM! Great Dream but dreams do happen.
So imagine it is one of those horrible rainy wet Saturdays (that is usally the only time children want Q.T; if its sunny they ignore you and go off with thrie friends). So, its rainy and that timeless phrase is ringing through your ears "mom i'm bored! I have nothing to do" Your have suggested that thy go play in their Million dollar bedrooms or with the air hockey game in the basement , but that is not fun there is still nothing to do; andno, they don't want to help fold the mountain of laundry that is on the sofa. you are trying to finish your multimillion dollar proposal for Monday mornings meeting, so you have but a couple of choices to save yourself
A) Run away to a remote iceberg and live by yourself in an igloo
or
B) FOOD!
Yes Food! Children , like animals respond to food. In the old movies mothers often told their daughters the way to a mans heart is through hs stomach. Well, its the same with kids and pets. so here are a couple of recieps easy for you and time consuming for children.
To make this extra easy and super fast for you mix it in the food processor or kitchen aide mixer:
RAINY DAY MOMMY SAVER ANIMAL PRETZELS
you need the basics:
1 package of dry yeast
1 1/2 cups water
1 tbl of sugar
1 tbl of salt
1 egg
4 cups of flour
1. mix yeast water sugar and salt
2. stir in flour
3 knead until smooth
4 have the CHILDREN SHAPE INTO ANIMALS SNAKES FISH BEARS RABBITS ETC-- just like they were playing with play dough/clay.
5. Brush with beaten egg and sprinkle with coarse salt
6. bake in oven at 425 degrees for 15 minutes or until brown eat and enjoy!
Wa La! "Mommy let us make pretzels" -- instant memory and rainy day life preserver.
The Beginning... the unwritten manual
If you are looking at this Blog you must be a Mother-To-Be, a Grandmother, or a mother looking for a free moment...not a long moment but just enough time to go to the bathroom without someone peering under the door saying, "mom what are you doing?" After they have spent their last four or five years watching you do it, they have the nerve to ask. Well, hopfully, this blog, guide and/or motherhood manual will help you find a second and also create memories for your children. When the kids are screaming and you are at the end of your rope and your mind is screaming "all i want is a weekend in the rubber room!" Join the blog and find a chuckle or two.
Welcome to the Adventures of Neal and Nana
I'm new at blogging. So any advice would be great. You know simple things like keeping others interested would be helpful. This blog is because my grandson and I play this game we call in deep voices "the adventures of Neal and Nana". My daugther in law Lisa said that it would be a good childrens book as the things we do and say are truly an adventure. So Neal and I will try and post some of our adventures and you be the judge. But let us know.
I'll start with a time leading up to the NanaHood........Motherhood.....
I'll start with a time leading up to the NanaHood........Motherhood.....
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